And that is all.

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Friday, March 27, 2009

MrsOC's Feral House of Bongos Presents: GASTROENTEROLOGIST

And so, it was decreed
& concurred upon
by the resident poets of this cluster
that we should throw out a word & see what is heard
on as regular a basis as we can muster.

Today is the first go round.
Welcome to MrsOC's Feral House of Bongos.
Enjoy your beating.
And don't forget to tip your whipper.
~ BZ

Cab Calloway ~ Betty Boop
St. James Infirmary Blues

Any MFer that ends with IST
Is bound to say somethin
that gets me PISSED
I think HE'S the one
been givin me gas
It's time that I popped
a cap in HIS ass
My gastroenterologist
His mama was a jackal
and he's on my list!

There are those we revere because they save our lives
The brothers Salk, the Curies, the Curriers and Ives
They broaden out perspectives, the painters and biologists
But who is there to greet with joy the gastroenterologist?

That fellow coming after you with slippy fingers and
a scope to go from one end past your sphincter and your glands
The guy who has the camera, the nippy tools and such
He’s taking snapshots, but I cannot say you’d like them much.

They mostly show last weekend’s binge on turkey breast and pie
They’d never be good Christmas card-I think you can see why.
But praise the poor man anyway, for he will guard your gizzards
It’s only his attentions that have kept you from the buzzards.

Besieged I am by legions of -ists
Ideology, medicine, they enter the lists
Species-ist, secularists
Proctologists, pharmacists
Marxists, paleontologists
Upon my soul they have a tryst
At them I shake my brazen fists
Their -isms all have made me pissed
Feminists and communists
Even gastroenterologists
And all their sundry apologists
Fie on you all, I list
Into the pit, go, I insist.
Rest assured, you shan't be missed.

If Gastro Enters the Ologist
and 3 Wood is an Economist
where TF is my pancreas?
Gastro enters,
Ologistically, naturally.
MFer took my spleen.
Gastroenterologist -
Who knew?
Like a Brooklyn plumber
in a Pacific volcano
he explored there
in utter shock and ignorance...
& then the caldera appeared.

Fourteen tooty toot tooth
and half an eleventy:
Heaven or it's antipode,
s'where he'll send me.

With gloves and metal snakes he greets me
With weapons of ass destruction he reams me
Would that I had the Power
To tell you what is in my bowels tonight!

Forever navigating undulating passages
Consumed with hot gasses
and the remnants of yesterday's snausages.
That light at the end of the tunnel
is a train.

Castro's Gynecologist
Wait a minute...he's got a dick.
~ BabbaZee
Too dada?
There once was a Gastroenterologist
A flake, a fool, an apologist
He reamed out my ass
inducing much gas
with which I became a seismologist

Nie widizala dupa slonca...
An ass that has never seen sunshine!

(this was not really an entry... and it doesn't use the word-- but I like it)

Van Halen
US Festival, 1983
Somebody Get Me a Doctor

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