And that is all.

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

MrsOC's Feral House of Bongos Presents: LICENSE

The Incredible Bongo Band
Inna Gadda DaVida

Attenzione: Poets, Paisanos, Proles & Palookas ~

Sham WOW, MFers!
Today's Bongo, "License and variations thereupon" shall now commence.
Tomorrow's Bongo will be announced inside this thread.

Ready or not, grid yer loons!

To James Bond they gave
A license to kill.
Many he sent to their grave
And continues still
To pop caps galore
Into the wicked swine
And paint with gore
A picture quite sublime.
To us a different license was give
One to love one another
And our enemies to forgive
And see each as our brother
Such license was hard won
On a cross in pools of blood
When God sent his son
To redeem us from sin's flood
But today the license all desire
Is to be licentious
And revel in lustful fire
And passions sensuous
We forget how dear the cost
Of pleasing the animal we
As we burn, we are lost
And lose the chance to fully be.
~Lucius Septimius

A license to drive
They gave me at sixteen
And I used it wisely
Except at moments of extreme
Necessity, when forced
By time of night and intoxication
To hit the highways
Of this bounteous nation.
I always made it home,
Sometimes I know not how
Unlike my friend, ol' Paul
Whose Maverick hit a cow.
Yes they judged right
To privilege my lead foot
Since by it they got a fee
And a gas tax to boot.
And if I should run afoul
Of their legislative hold
They will let me back
If I pay a sum of gold.
A gift it was indeed
When the condescended once
To grant me the license
To be a teenage dunce.
~ Lucius Septimius

While waiting for the girl
Behind the counter to finish
Filling out the form
That gave the approval of the state
To my foolishly contrived nuptuals
After staring for a bit
At the sign that explained
That if you were thirteen
You needed your parents to sign
The form to let you wed
Unless, of course, your belly
Was already filled with joy
On account of your prior fornication
Out of the corner of my eye
I noticed the counter one over
Was where you applied
For a license of a different kind
Conceal and Carry Permits
The government forms
Filled out by the same girl
Who gave me license to marry
A crazy wench (the beta-wife)
Perhaps I went to the wrong window
By mistake.
~ Lucius Septimius

Licentiousness, and lasciviousness,
the cultural state of our worldly mess
No restraint!(the righteous complaint)
as fools yield to Satan's caress
~ Cookie Lady Bootsie Highway

There once was a gal who was so dense
She couldn't write poems worth two cents.
But she spoke the right lies
So the 'high-cultured' guys
Still gave her poetic license.

An appropriately bad limerick inspired by Nikki Giovanni, Poet-in-Residence at Virginia Tech, best known for such masterpieces as "Can You Kill, N****r, Can You Kill?"
~ Grayce

Licentious he called me! I quaked with chagrin!
How could he? I wept, was this malice or whim?
No lice have been nearer to me than his head
He answered that I was nit picking instead.

In rage never seen before, aimed I my halbert
Dressed though I was in my favorite Prince Albert.
But hang the expense ‘tis no moment of pique!
I wash my hair faithfully every two weeks!

Without a regard if it needs be or nay
And once every month my whole bod the same way!
So how can this blackguard make such a cruel libel?
A one who has filth which is clearly archival?

But once I had finished him (he of lame brains)
I had to get rid of his mortal remains
I couldn’t abandon him- let it go by
So instead I deposited him in the lye

The stuff that we keep for to soften our pelts
But sturdier dirt like his simply won’t melt.
No fire that is Earthly would consume his frame
I saw it was possible I’d take the blame.

So I dressed him in finery, (though he’d looked better far)
And left him to sit in the pub by the bar.
The bar maid observed as she left him a beer
“That’s the first tip the blighter has left me all year!”
~ mrsoc

Lie since that's all you can do
A license don't give you no truth
A lie is a lie
Lie since sin singers deny
but a lie that sings sinners ain't true.
~ BabbaZee

You know The Lie sent yez.
Replete with a license to fuck.
Under Golden Calves he will bend you
make you mad
gone insane
run amuck
Beware, The Lies scents youse.
Like a predator after the prey.
You roll in his mud
are obsessed with your pud
and feel you are licensed to play
Licentious is feeling contentious,
irredentist, resents this, OK.
At the next, if you please
when you drop to your knees
it would behoove you far better to pray.
There's a saying that goes
to the pimps and the hos
If one wants to play
one must pay.
~ BabbaZee

A Lye Since to Conk For Obama
He need him some Al Sharpton drama
His natural fro
when lit all aglow
by his halo is not very shiny
Methinks for the BRAND
and the right sleight of the hand
we need something much smoother,
less "Hymie".
All licensed hairdressers, apply here
Peace Out from your Sugar,
Plouffe Daddy
~ BabbaZee

Sham Wowin' Slap Choppin' Vince
Thought he was some kinda prince
he paid her a grand
misused both his hands
And now he is licensed to mince
~ BabbaZee

The Prophet Zimmy's
License to Kill
as performed by
Richie Havens

Man thinks 'cause he rules the earth he can do with it as he please
And if things don't change soon, he will.
Oh, man has invented his doom,
First step was touching the moon.

Now, there's a woman on my block,
She just sit there as the night grows still.
She say who gonna take away his license to kill?

Now, they take him and they teach him and they groom him for life
And they set him on a path where he's bound to get ill,
Then they bury him with stars,
Sell his body like they do used cars.

Now, there's a woman on my block,
She just sit there facin' the hill.
She say who gonna take away his license to kill?

Now, he's hell-bent for destruction, he's afraid and confused,
And his brain has been mismanaged with great skill.
All he believes are his eyes
And his eyes, they just tell him lies.

But there's a woman on my block,
Sitting there in a cold chill.
She say who gonna take away his license to kill?

Ya may be a noisemaker, spirit maker,
Heartbreaker, backbreaker,
Leave no stone unturned.
May be an actor in a plot,
That might be all that you got
'Til your error you clearly learn.

Now he worships at an altar of a stagnant pool
And when he sees his reflection, he's fulfilled.
Oh, man is opposed to fair play,
He wants it all and he wants it his way.

Now, there's a woman on my block,
She just sit there as the night grows still.
She say who gonna take away his license to kill?

~ The Prophet Zimmy, 1983

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